ALEX REID
Jerry Seinfeld recently made headlines after declaring he was probably finished with his hit internet show Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.
But CCC isn’t the only car-centric show Seinfeld’s worked on — in fact, his 1990s hit sitcom featured some pretty interesting vehicles as well. While you might not think of Seinfeld as a show for car nerds, more than a dozen episodes build their plots around vehicles.
Seinfeld is a massive car enthusiast, with a particular penchant for Porsche products. Seinfeld has owned some important race cars and street cars from the brand’s history and continues to collect them to this day.
There are a slew of cool cars in the show: Newman’s NSX; the Maestro’s Ferrari; Kramer’s various rides; Frank Costanza’s GTO; yadda yadda yadda.
Like four clueless New Yorkers hunting for their vehicle in a parking garage, we looked for the best car-related Seinfeld episodes.
“The Parking Space”
After scoring a new hat at the flea market, George starts bragging to Elaine about his parking prowess. He shows off by attempting to parallel park in front of Jerry’s apartment, only to have his spot taken away by somebody in a ’69 Buick trying to nose it in headfirst. George must instead duke it out with “Mike” over the spot and the entire neighbourhood gets involved.
“The Dealership”
Jerry is looking to buy a new Saab 900 NG Convertible from Elaine’s boyfriend Puddy, who has been promoted to salesman. George goes with Jerry to make sure he gets a good deal, as he’s skeptical of car dealers.
While Jerry deals with Puddy, Kramer and a salesperson test a demo model to see how far they can go before running out of gas, since he hates filling up the tank when he borrows Jerry’s car. Jerry’s sweet deal on his new car is soured when Elaine and Puddy break up over his obsession with giving high fives.
The overcharging proves George was right about dealerships, but George only cares about getting a Twix bar after a mechanic got the last two from the machine. The episode references Thelma and Louise when the car salesman and Kramer hold hands at the end.
“The Bottle Deposit”
Jerry has some problems with his Saab after Kramer and Newman borrow it and use the engine bay as grocery storage. Jerry takes the car to Tony, a car-care-obsessed mechanic who thinks Jerry has been slacking off on maintenance. When Tony becomes infatuated about the vehicle, Jerry decides to take it to somebody else to have it repaired, but Tony runs away with the vehicle instead.
Kramer and Newman devise a scheme to drive a mail truck full of empty bottles to Michigan when Newman discovers they can be refunded for 10 cents per bottle instead of five. The bottle return plot is foiled when Kramer spots Jerry’s stolen Saab on the highway and intercepts Tony after dumping the weight of the bottles (and Newman) off the truck.
“The Wig Master”
Kramer parks his 1973 Chevrolet Impala in a cheap lot George recommended, but when the lot loses his keys, he’s forced to borrow a fancy pink Cadillac. George becomes upset when he finds a used condom in his vehicle after parking it in the same lot, accusing the lot attendant of loaning the vehicles out for prostitution.
The wig-master staying with George lends Kramer the coat from the production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat he’s working on, which, with the pink Cadillac, gives Kramer a pimpin’ new look.
“The Little Kicks”
Elaine tells a co-worker named Anna to stay away from George, leading Anna to wonder whether George is some kind of “bad boy.” George, intrigued by this thought, proves he’s a tough guy by borrowing his father’s 1967 Pontiac GTO. George’s mystique is only heightened when Elaine shows up in a cab to take Anna away from him and the car.
“The Smelly Car”
In season four, Jerry drove a BMW instead of a Saab — but only until it turned sour. When Jerry has his car returned from the valet, he and Elaine notice it stinks of body odour, which rubs off on anybody that comes in contact with it. Jerry brings the car back to the valet to make him smell the car and pay for a cleaning. It doesn’t work out.
“The Parking Garage”
Jerry, Kramer, Elaine and George are lost in the parking garage of a shopping mall in New Jersey trying to find their space after Kramer purchases an air conditioner. Kramer sets the unit down and forgets about it; Elaine begs people to help them find their car; Jerry gets in trouble for public urination; and George is pressed to meet his parents for anniversary dinner.
“The Cadillac”
Jerry decides to buy his father a brand new Cadillac Fleetwood. His father rejects it for being too extravagant a gift. The Cadillac proves problematic when Morty Seinfeld runs for re-election as president of his condominium board, and Jack Klompus accuses Morty of embezzling condo fees to buy the car.
The plot for this episode came from a true story that happened to Larry David, who bought a Lexus for his father, who was the president of his condominium in Florida.
“The Fusilli Jerry”
Kramer goes to the DMV to renew the licence plates for his vehicle but is instead given plates that read “ASSMAN.” Although initially upset, Kramer eventually realizes he can use them to park in a space marked “doctors only” and try to pass himself off as a proctologist. The plate also scores Kramer a date with a big-bottomed woman named Sally, plus catcalls when driving down the street.
“The Mom & Pop Store”
George is conflicted about which used car to buy: a reliable 1989 Volvo, or a Chrysler LeBaron. His decision is swayed toward the LeBaron when the salesman tells him it may have been formerly owned by actor Jon Voight. Jerry is skeptical when he uncovers ownership papers listing a John-with-an-h Voight having had the car, not Jon the actor.
When Kramer spots Jon Voight on the streets of New York, he approaches him, only to have Voight bite his arm and run away. George attempts to find a dentist who can match the bite marks on Kramer’s arm to ones on a pencil he found in the glovebox of his new car, to see if it was really owned by Voight. (Spoiler: it was not.)
