I remember the shame my then seven-year-old felt when she told me she was dress coded at school.
Wearing a white tank top with thin straps, because it was hot outside and she had removed her sweatshirt, my daughter said the female teacher pointed at her bare arms and shoulders and said, "I don't want to see that" as her way of saying "That's not within the dress code."
My daughter was definitely not the only one wearing that style to school at that time and, like the students at Sydney Academy who protested their school dress code said about theirs, some people were dress coded others weren't.
Anger seared through my face and I spoke to my sweet little girl about how she shouldn't feel shame. And that Mommy would buy tank tops that were more suitable for school.
At the time, I wasn't completely sure what the dress code was. Now it seems there really isn't one anymore as the crop tops and thin straps that were shunned before aren't being spoken about this year.
Part of me wonders if it's because school is cutting the students some slack because studying during a pandemic is stressful enough. Part of me wonders if it's because they've realized dress codes don't help students study better.
However, there's a value to dress codes when enforced correctly. They teach youth how to prepare for a workplace environment.
It's a reality of life that the majority of jobs will require some sort of dress code be followed. Retail is one path where popular trends might be allowed, but a sports store isn't asking staff to wear nightclub wear.
Most offices have dress codes and even business casual wouldn't allow someone to work in their pyjamas. Fast food chains and grocery stores have uniforms, which are rarely flattering, yet we don't hear employees complaining because they're not confident in the unattractive clothing they're wearing.
Some industries have an accepted standard of dress. Lawyers don't arrive to court in ball caps and ripped jeans. Construction workers don't show up in beach wear.
I was never dress coded at school but was relentlessly picked on when I was working as a waitress at a Swiss Chalet in Ottawa. One of the floor managers was constantly pulling me aside to tell me I needed to wear make-up to work or straighten my hair before putting it up. These were all things not a part of the company dress code and if I had filed a complaint, I'm sure she would have been reprimanded. But I was in university, paying my way and terrified of losing this job in my final year.
Each time she singled me out, it felt horrible. Her words stung just like the teacher's words stung my daughter that day. Still, I don't feel the dress code is the problem. It's the way they are enforced, which also makes us forget the positive sides to them.
Don't blame the school dress code for singling out female students.
Blame the people enforcing them in the schools or workplaces, who use humiliating language and single out individuals. The ones in school which never penalize males and make girls with curves feel targeted for looking more like a woman than a youth.
Nicole Sullivan is an education reporter at The Cape Breton Post and the mother of an 11-year-old student.
