BY KEELY TURNER
Well, my engagement has officially been upstaged. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are getting married. Meghan Markle, who stars in “Suits”, is a philanthropist and one of the prettiest people on the planet.
The royal wedding is set for the spring of 2018, after which Markle will retire from acting and devote all of her time to charity. This is basically the same as my dream of retiring and devoting all of my time to scrolling through memes on Instagram.
In terms of royalty, I find the Burger King much more attractive than Prince Harry, but to each their own.
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are back together. The two had an on-and-off romance from 2010 to 2014. There were rumours of Justin romping around with Victoria’s Secret models (Kylie Jenner and others) while Selena has been linked to Orlando Bloom, Zedd and The Weekend (yes, they are all human men). It seems that young love never dies (except for almost everyone else who left their high school romance in high school and moved on).
I don’t know him personally, but I think Justin Bieber seems like a really terrible person – you know the saying, “if someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person”? He was caught peeing in a janitor’s bucket. So, that saying times 3,000.
Get fist pumping because a Jersey Shore reunion is set for 2018. Not many details have been released except that I am 100 per cent confirmed to tune in.
In other reality television news, “Vanderpump Rules” season six premieres Dec. 4. Katie and Tom are married, Scheana is divorced, Stassi is still single, and Jax will probably go to jail again.
Blake Shelton was named “People” magazine’s sexiest man alive, and people were not having it. My favourite comments on the announcement were, “Blake Shelton isn’t even the sexiest man in country music” and “Blake Shelton is more like the sexiest man in a Wal-Mart parking lot.”
Jennifer Lopez is the newest face of Guess. It's just a reminder that she is 48 and in better shape than all of us combined. More like Jennifer LopABS, am I right?
Grammy nominations have been announced and Jay Z is leading the musical pack with eight nominations (including album of the year), following by Kendrick Lamar who received seven nominations (also including album of the Year). Bruno Mars, Lorde, Kelly Clarkson, Alessia Cara, Pink, Ed Sheeran and so many others have received nominations. Noticeably absent from the list was former boy bander-turned-solo artist Harry Styles. Also, noticeably absent was myself, who sang a really beautiful rendition of Destiny’s Child’s “Lose My Breath” in the shower this morning.
Keely Turner takes a look at pop culture through the eyes of an Island girl with a big city attitude. She's also a pretty rad entrepreneur, marketing specialist and writer. Her column, Keelywood, will appear monthly in The Guardian. Reach out to her by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Instagram, Twitter or Snapchat. Search for Keely Turner.