I began writing Friends and Neighbours for the Cape Breton Post in November 2017. For my first column, I was asked by my editor to write about the person who has influenced me most over the years. At that time, I introduced readers to my father, Wesley Mulley.
Dad was without question the person who made the most impact in my life. He was a positive role model, he was a man of great faith, he was kind, compassionate and understanding, and he lived his life with optimism.
Sadly, my confidant, supporter, biggest fan, best friend and loving father has passed away.
Dad was diagnosed with congestive heart failure in 2018, at the age of 82. It wasn’t good, obviously, but if he maintained a healthy lifestyle and continued to be monitored, he could live with the disease for several more years.
Unfortunately, he suffered a significant fall in his home in Sydney Mines on Jan. 31. He was rushed to the Cape Breton Regional Hospital where he had a heart attack upon arrival. Dad’s health issues had been escalating over the past year. He had been in and out of hospital several times but was always able to rally back.
After arriving at the hospital this last time, we prayed that he would rally back from this episode, as well, and for a time we thought he would. Unfortunately, that wasn’t meant to be.
When dad passed, I never thought that I would ever have the strength to write a column dedicated to his memory. The grief I felt and continue to feel is overwhelming. The heartache and feeling of loss are at times unbearable and there are days when I have trouble putting one foot in front of the other.
To say dad’s passing was devastating is an understatement. My brothers, sisters and I have lost the one person in our lives who was there for us in sickness and in health and for better and for worse. In his eyes we could do no wrong, he supported us unconditionally.
If I was asked to describe my father in one word that word would be love. He was a man of great faith, compassion and kindness, but most of all he was man filled with love. “Hi love” seemed to be his two favourite words.
Dad loved his family deeply and he made sure we all knew it. There was never a phone call or a visit that didn’t end with “I love you.” It wasn’t just his family he loved; it was all of those around him as well. He would greet the cashier at the grocery store with “Hi love how are you today.” At the doctor’s office he would greet the secretary with “Hi love how are you today?”
At the hospital, in the midst of great pain and discomfort he would greet the nurses with “Hi love how are you today?” It seemed there was no room in dad’s heart for anything but love.
People have been so kind; I have received cards and letters of condolences from relatives and friends that I have not seen or spoken to in decades. People had such respect for my dad. They continue to comment not only on his kindness, but his infectious smile as well. It seemed as though that warm smile that he was so well known for was permanently affixed to his face.
They say when you lose someone so close to you that you can take comfort in the memories. Well, yes, I have many wonderful memories, but truthfully, that is little comfort when you lose the one person in your life who you thought would be there forever. I am sure in time I will come to treasure those memories; they are all I have left after all.
People also say that I was blessed to have my dad for almost 57 years, most people, aren’t that fortunate. It is true that I enjoyed my time with my father for longer than most, but selfishly I would prefer to have more time with him.
I am fortunate in one respect, in as much as my father told me he loved me every time I was with him, I too told him I loved him, as well. During those last hours in palliative care I repeatedly told dad how much I love him, what a wonderful father he is and how proud I am to be his daughter.
Given the choice, most people won’t want their loved one to pass away on a holiday. That day, after all, would be a sad reminder of the loss of someone so dear. In dad’s case, I think his passing on Valentine’s Day was most fitting. He was so incredibly loved and so full of love that it almost seems God planned it that way.
My beloved father died as he lived, surrounded by the people he loved. He was 84 years old.
Sherry Mulley MacDonald is an author and freelance journalist. She is a lifelong resident of the Northside with a fondness for the community in which she lives. [email protected]
