Valentine's Day will soon be upon us, and many folks will see Feb. 14 as the perfect opportunity to pop the question to their sweethearts. Because what's more romantic than a Valentine's Day proposal?
For a long time, the answer to that rhetorical question was “a gorgeous diamond engagement ring,” and while that certainly hasn't gone the way of the Dodo, young couples today are less likely to agree.
The major issues surrounding the diamond industry have become common knowledge over the past few decades: cartels, controlling distribution to inflate the value, as well as injuries and death among those who mine them, all for beggar's wages.
“They call them ‘blood diamonds’ for a reason,” says Joy Cunningham.
She and her fiance Makyle McLellan, a young 20-something couple living in Bridgewater, NS, decided to take a different tack when it came to their engagement bling.
“He took me to the beach he used to work in New Brunswick in July,” says Cunningham, describing McLellan's proposal. “It was very special. We had talked, and I was like, ‘I would really like to be involved.’ I wanted to have a say if I was going to wear it forever.”
Selecting a ring that represented them as a couple was important to Cunningham.
“We’re both huge outdoors people. Makyle actually works in the woods for a living. We looked at hundreds of rings together, trying to find something that was perfect. We had to go custom.”
That brought the couple to Northwood, an independent jeweller in Bridgewater that specialized in custom ring designs, many of which incorporate actual lumber.
“My husband and I really wanted to make rings that were affordable,” says Laurel Hill, co-owner and designer at Northwood. “Actually, the first ring he made was for me. I couldn’t wear my wedding ring because I was allergic to the gold. They were selling the farm. He got a piece of the oak and made a ring for me. And I just fell in love with it.”
Soon enough, the sheer number of inquiries about her own ring led the pair to open up shop, providing services that traditional jewellers have been hesitant to adopt, but that Hill could clearly see the demand was there.
“I think a lot of the younger generation - the Millennials - they’re recognizing how ridiculous it has gotten to buy a home, or throw a big, lavish wedding,” says Hill. “They’re choosing to do things a bit differently.”
Custom jobs – like the one Hill did for Cunningham and McLellan, a made-to-order gold band with leaves holding the stone, made easier by today's advances in computer design and 3D printing – are just one of the things young people look for in an engagement ring.
“I find a lot of women love to be in on the process of making their ring; they’re going to be wearing it forever,” she says. “There’s something to be said for the surprise. But don’t be afraid to pop the question without the ring.”
Diamond alternatives
The ethics of diamonds is another concern among young newlyweds today. There are alternatives there, as well.
“I’m getting a lot of interest in moissanite and lab-created stones. It’s created with much less power and water, and is just friendlier for the Earth," says Kimberly McIntyre, owner of Kuriosities, another independent jeweller out of Charlottetown, PEI.
“The lab-grown diamonds are similar in price if you want the same karat,” Hill adds. “They’re a little bit less expensive, but the price is still up there. I find the moissanite is a little more friendly on the pocketbook and just as beautiful.”
Frugality is yet one more thing young couples seek when finding their ring. The old custom of spending three months' worth of your salary holds little sway with them.
“A great percentage of my clients are interested in it for budgetary reasons,” says McIntyre. “They’re not attaching the same degree of romance to the idea of a mined diamond that you would have seen previously. It just doesn’t have the same value to them. ”
That's certainly true for Cunningham and McLellan.
“We’d laugh about how crazy it was,” Cunningham chuckles. “We’d joke about it, but it was never ‘we have to follow these customs.’ We did our own thing, and we’re very happy we did it.”
Cunningham chose moissanite for her custom ring, knowing what her older family members might think of snubbing tradition, but says they've been supportive overall.
“My mom thinks it’s great, and I’ve mentioned it to a few other people and we’ve had nothing but great responses to [choosing] moissanite,” says Cunningham. “Whether it’s plastic or a diamond, it means the same thing.”
Older generations are coming on board, too, says Hill.
“I find that there are a lot of savvy people in the older generations as well that are looking for that, or want to reuse their jewelry, rather than buy new,” says Hill.
When it's your turn to genuflect on one knee and ask for someone's hand in marriage, if you think you might want to put an ethical, cost-effective ring on that finger, start by doing your research online – with some key terms in mind – Hill recommends.
“A lot of the ethical jewellers are online these days. They’re the smaller jewellers that aren’t found in malls or big-box chains. If you start searching those keywords - ‘lab-grown,’ ‘moissanite,’ that sort of thing - you’re going to find the jewellers that align with those values.”
