O'LEARY, P.E.I. — Sara Murray believes her aunt and her three uncles could teach many couples a thing or two about long, healthy marriages.
P.E.I. native Myrna (nee Buchanan) Ellis and her three Buchanan brothers, Warner, George and Malcolm, have collectively tallied a whopping 262 years of wedded bliss.
Murray, 78, of Newmarket, Ont. is simply in awe of her aunt and her trio of uncles.
For long-time lovebirds to have enjoyed married life for well over 60 years (and almost 70 in one case), all four siblings, along with their spouses, first needed to continue getting up on the right side of the bed year after year after year.
“I’m just impressed with how healthy they are," says Murray, who grew up in P.E.I. just outside of O’Leary.
“They worked all their life and remained active … I think being active and happy and very family-oriented is a big part of health in the end."
Murray, who divorced after 24 years of marriage, says each of these four Buchanan siblings have the mindset, approach and heart required to help nurture and preserve lasting, loving partnerships.
“I guess the big key is that they love each other – that has never been in question," she says.
“They respect each other. They are there for each other when something goes wrong. Through it all, love is the main thing and it just goes from there."
Last week, each of the siblings sat down with their spouses to share with The Guardian their secrets of success.
MYRNA (BUCHANAN) AND AUBREY ELLIS, 65 YEARS
Myrna says she need look no further than her late parents Dan and Ruth Buchanan to help explain how she and her three brothers were predisposed to having very good – and lengthy – marriages.
“They made us who we are … lots of love, lots of church," she says of growing up in Unionvale witnessing and absorbing the positive, caring interaction between her mother and her father.
“They were a very devoted couple. They were wonderful parents."
Myrna did not search long for her soul mate.
She was 19 and Aubrey Ellis was 18 when the pair started dating. She was immediately attracted to Aubrey’s gentle, warm personality.
“He was very kind and thoughtful," she says.
“You were a gorgeous girl," Aubrey replies, looking at Myrna with an expression of ever-lasting love.
After dating for four years, Myrna was ready to marry Aubrey, which she did just over 65 years ago on Aug. 3, 1955.
The couple, who live in Richmond Hill, Ont., had three sons together, not to mention an enduring friendship that might leave some feeling quite envious.
“She’s a fantastic lady," says Aubrey, turning his head to look directly at his wife.
“I can’t think of a thing you ever did wrong – fantastic mother and wife."
Myrna, 88, says one key to her successful marriage with Aubrey, 87, is when the pair would have a disagreement, they would always reach a resolution.
The couple always made a point of talking out their issues in a peaceful manner.
“I never really saw this lady get too mad," says Aubrey.
“She was a very calm, loving person."
His advice to couples is to talk out disputes while remaining respectful towards one another.
Myrna is not only grateful for her wonderful marriage but for the special unions her three brothers enjoy with their spouses.
“It’s wonderful – and they have wonderful partners," she says.
GEORGE AND HAZEL (HARRIS) BUCHANAN, 65 YEARS
George agrees with his sister that their parents helped pave the way for the siblings to succeed in marriage.
“They were a pretty close couple," he says.
“I think it had a strong impact on me."
So too has his wife made a deep and lasting impression.
George was 19 when he first saw 16-year-old Hazel Harris walking up the street in a form-fitting coat. He was simply gobsmacked.
“She’s the one," he thought to himself. Hazel was won over quickly, as well.
“He was pretty kind," she recalls.
“He treated me good when we were dating."
After just one year of dating, George and Hazel tied the knot on Aug. 10, 1955.
George, who was a truck driver with Seaman’s Beverages for many years, says 65 years (and counting) in a happy marriage is a “pretty good deal".
Adds Hazel of the impressive run as spouses: “It is an accomplishment."
George says among the many things that have kept his relationship with Hazel close is the fact the couple always did many things together. For years, they loved to take in performances, notably ceilidhs.
“We’ve had a pretty good life together," says 85-year-old George.
Hazel, 82, credits always having a happy family, which eventually numbered eight with the couple’s four sons and two daughters, to playing a key role in the healthy marriage.
“We all respected each other," she says.
George adds by way of advice to other couples that being “honest with each other’’ is essential to a good partnership.
MALCOLM AND ALEATA (HARRIS) BUCHANAN, 64 YEARS
As Bruce Springsteen will tell you, one can’t start a fire without a spark.
Aleata (nee Harris) Buchanan makes no bones about what initially drew her to Malcolm when they met one day in a restaurant.
“Well, it could have been his good looks at the time," she says with a laugh.
Dating included attending church together on Sundays.
On July 11, 1956 they wed, raised four children, and never once gave any thought to not living out their lives together.
“We loved each other," says Aleata.
“We had our family. We loved our family."
Malcolm, 87, mostly allowed Aleata, 81, to do the talking to The Guardian about their relationship but he did pipe in that he is quite pleased with his marriage lasting 64 years so far.
When Malcolm noted he has COPD, that his hearing is weak, and vision in his right eye is poor, Aleata quipped: “He is going downhill."
Perhaps as a nod to the “in sickness and in health" portion of traditional wedding vows, Aleata is quick to note that her choice of husband turned out quite well.
“We have had a good life," she says.
WARNER AND DORIS (MACLELLAN) BUCHANAN, 68 YEARS
Warner feels blessed to be approaching 69 years of marriage with Doris (nee MacLellan) Buchanan.
He started dating Doris while he was working on her father’s farm.
On Sept. 19, 1951 he married the farmer’s daughter, who was 17 and not considered too young for wedlock back in the day.
Like his siblings, Warner was positively impacted by his parents serving as strong relationship role models.
His father, he says, worked to maintain “a nice, family home".
Warner and Doris certainly found good harmony living together and raising six children.
Shared interests brought them together and helped them grow closer and closer over the years.
When they started dating, Warner and Doris both played hockey and liked country music.
After getting married, the lifetime churchgoers both sang in the church choir.
Even their livelihood was a shared passion working together on a mixed farm that they purchased in 1952 in Carleton Lot 6, near O’Leary.
“We milked cows together by hand," he says.
“We picked potatoes."
For the most part, though, Warner took care of the physical work while Doris looked after the accounting.
They were equal partners in the farm operation, just like they have always been in marriage.
Big decisions impacting the farm were reached through consultation and mutual agreement.
“Communication is important," says Doris.
She says the pair made a point of trying to never go to bed angry with one another.
“We never held any grudges," adds Warner, who is a very spry 89.
“I think that’s what’s wrong today (with some couples). They hold grudges and keep arguing about it."
Doris, who is 86, simply cannot believe she has been blessed with nearly seven decades in a loving marriage.
“Time goes so fast," she says.
“I always said the Lord must have looked after us," adds Warner.
“It’s quite an honour, really."
