Rev. Paula Hamilton
Special to The Guardian
As Christians, we are all accustomed to being told that we need to forgive.
We need to forgive others for what they have done to us so that we will be able to move past the hurt and be able to look to the future and not stay mired in the past. But that only resolves what others have done to us. What about the things we have done to others?
What about all the ways we have hurt others with our words and with our actions?
It has often been said that the most difficult thing any of us do is offer forgiveness. But something that can be even more difficult is asking for forgiveness. Many people find it difficult enough to even apologize for something they have done, let alone to ask for forgiveness.
You might think that apologizing and asking forgiveness are the same thing but, while they are directly related, they are actually different. The difference may seem subtle, but it’s profound.
Apologizing is admitting we’ve done something wrong; asking forgiveness is seeking to make it right. It’s not just saying we are sorry for what we’ve done, but actually being repentant and committed to making amends. To repent literally means to turn back or to make a 180-degree change. It includes sorrow and regret but it’s more than that. Where an apology is verbal, repentance is actually taking action.
Asking forgiveness also means you have to put your pride aside and humble yourself. You have to admit you were wrong or that you made a mistake – and most of us don’t like to admit when we are wrong.
Asking forgiveness is probably one of the most difficult things we can ever do, because asking, “will you forgive me?” requires us to surrender control. It puts power into the other person’s hands – the ball is in their court, as it were. We can’t control their response. What if they refuse to forgive? Then what?
And maybe that’s the reason we hesitate to confess our sins to God and ask His forgiveness – because we are afraid, He won’t forgive us.
Sometimes we think what we’ve done puts us beyond the reach of God’s mercy and forgiveness.
But, as we read in 1 John 1, “if we confess our sins, He who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
And, in Romans 8:38-39 we are told that there is absolutely nothing that can ever separate us from the love of God through Jesus Christ. Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross was for us and for our sake – to restore, once and for all, the broken relationship between ourselves and God. And, because of that, there is nothing we can do that is beyond God’s forgiveness. So, we are to go to God with confidence, asking for forgiveness, knowing that He has promised mercy and compassion to any and all who turn to Him.
No matter how far we stray, no matter what we do, when we turn back and repent and ask God to forgive us, He will and He does.
As Christians, we are called to admit when we have done something wrong and ask for forgiveness. Whether or not people choose to forgive us when we ask them is beyond our control.
What is in our control is the asking.
Rev. Paula Hamilton serves in team ministry with her husband, Maj. Rev. Tom Hamilton in the congregations of St. Mark’s Presbyterian Church in Charlottetown, and St. Columba in Marshfield. She also serves as chaplain to the Charlottetown Fire Department. A guest sermon runs regularly in Saturday’s Guardian and is provided through Christian Communications.
