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Jenna Conter: Drugs in curling? Really?

Curling - 123RF Stock Photo

We all know that they couldn’t keep that monkey off their back for long. That’s right, a Russian athlete has been flagged under suspicion for doping … for curling. Yup. The sport known for its speed, aggression and explosive strength has been highlighted under the controversy of a possible doping scandal.

Mixed doubles athlete Alexander Krushelnitsky, who won a bronze medal, has been suspected of taking a little something-something to boost his chances in this new event. Sent away to sweat and wait with his teammate and wife (I’m sure dinner that night was cosy), Krushelnitsky will have to wait for the results of a second set of tests to clear his name.

I didn’t think Adderall was on the no-go drug list. Apparently there were trace amounts of meldonium — a drug used to treat heart conditions. It helps elevate blood flow, which increases workout capacity. . . So the athlete can really bend, extend and reach for that post-rock beer.

Enjoy all the Armchair athleticism, follow the Games here.

I don’t want to be a self-hating Canadian but regardless of how often curling may be on during these Winter Games, I just can’t sit through an entire match. Coming from someone who genuinely enjoys watching golf and pretending to play, I don’t know what it is that makes this sport particularly numbing to my soul. It’s the only sport that makes chess look like a UFC pay-per-view main event. With every rock that’s thrown, the 20-minute conversation about the angle, the speed, the distance, the list of fears the rock may have, its favourite colour, what the teammates ate for dinner the previous night . . .

For the love of the giant spaghetti monster, throw the damn rock already!

Deep breath in. Go to my happy place. Moving on.

Jenna Conter
Jenna Conter

More scandal on the ice but this time in the figure skating arena.

Gabriella Papadakis, the French female skater, pulled a Janet Jackson a few moments into her pairs short dance figure skating routine, bringing back to the world the term “wardrobe malfunction.” The pair did not compete in the team event, as they didn’t want to reveal what they had planned. Insert obvious joke here.

My heart goes out to Papadakis as the majority of her left breast was on full display. I can’t imagine how difficult it was to maintain composure whilst attempting to hoist your costume back onto your body during the routine. Thanks to the pervy camera protocol of these events, we can all appreciate just how uncomfortable she was in the slow-mo replay. To their credit, Boob-Gate didn’t seem to shake her as they currently sit in second position behind our increasingly adorable Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir.

Short Snappers

Canada and Germany, for the second time in 20 years, have tied for the gold medal in two-man bobsled.

Team Canada, the ladies edition, will see their second game against Team USA for the gold. I assume the game will start with a big hug and maintain that tone throughout.

Our Canadian women seemed to hit snooze and DNS’d out of their second training run for the Alpine Downhill.

Virtue and Moir sit in first leading into the free dance competition for pairs.

Canadian Cassie Sharpe is sitting in first position after the second run of ladies’ halfpipe freestyle skiing leading into the final during day 11 of competition.

Laurie Blouin is sitting just off the podium in ladies’ big air snowboarding; that final taking place on day 14.

Robert Johansson’s (Norway) moustache has secret, ski jumping powers.

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