Jamie Acorn says the thing he misses the most about his sister, Jolee Mary Acorn, is her hugs.
“To be honest, it sounds sappy, but it’s her hugs, that is the biggest thing that I miss,” said Jamie in a recent interview with The Guardian.
The Charlottetown woman had a prior criminal history in this province before she moved to Calgary in 2009, including convictions for possession of stolen property, fraud, theft and assault causing bodily harm. On Aug. 6, 2014, Calgary police picked her up on a number of charges and she was held at the Calgary Remand Centre. On Aug. 10, she died while still in custody.
The findings of a public inquiry into her death were released last month and found that Jolee Acorn died of natural causes and that the remand centre staff likely could not have prevented the fatality.
Her family does not question the inquiry’s findings, but they worry the publicity around her death doesn’t give the whole picture.
“She is more than just a charge. She is more than just an inmate number on a piece of paper. She is a mother. She is a daughter. She is a sister. She is an aunt,” said Jolee’s sister-in-law, Kara Acorn. “It’s really important to us that we put her name to rest.”
The stories that have not made the headlines paint a very different picture of what the 36-year-old woman was like with her friends and family.
She was outgoing.
She was funny.
She was selfless.
“She is more than just a charge. She is more than just an inmate number on a piece of paper. She is a mother. She is a daughter. She is a sister. She is an aunt. It’s really important to us that we put her name to rest.”
-Kara Acorn
Jolee, who grew up in Charlottetown, was one of three siblings in the Acorn family.
She was the oldest and was a loving sister towards her brothers growing up.
“She was almost like a Mom-type thing. She was very nurturing, very protective and very caring,” said Jamie, who is the youngest sibling in the Acorn family. “She would be the first person there if one of her friends or family needed something.”
Jolee was also a good daughter.
She was a “daddy’s girl” and would show up to her father’s home to cook and clean.
Kara says Jolee was the sister she never had.
“I never had a sister and she never had a sister, so we kind of filled that void with each other,” said Kara. “I never realized how close you can become to a sister-in-law until I got mine.”
However, Jolee did have her struggles in life, which led her down a path of drug use and criminal activity.
Related: Inmate’s death not likely preventable: report
Even when Jolee was using, Jamie knew he could count on his older sister in any situation.
“If I called her and said I’m in a jam or something, she would try to do her best and do whatever she could do to look after me or help me out.”
Jolee also gave back to the community by volunteering with Harvest House as well as the Boys and Girls Club in Charlottetown.
“When she was clean and sober, she always tried to volunteer,” said Jamie.
After Jolee moved to Alberta, she stayed in touch with her family.
“She never missed a phone call home,” said Kara. “She always made sure she called home every Friday night to talk to her nephews.”
But Jamie admits he knew he would never see his sister again after she moved out west.
“I was realistic. I always knew that she wasn’t going to come home, but it’s the same thing even if you had a sibling that got sick, you still don’t think that you are ever going to have bury your sibling, especially at 36 (years old).”
The loss of Jolee in 2014 is something still felt deeply within the Acorn family.
“I’ve lost uncles. I’ve lost friends, aunts and grandparents. It’s not the same as a sibling. It’s completely and utterly different,” said Jamie. “It was the roughest thing I’ve ever had to go through.”
The family wants Jolee to be remembered as the caring, outgoing and funny woman that she was, instead of for the “worst things she’s ever done”.
“Addiction pretty much takes out the worst side in people,” said Jamie. “People have to realize there is a whole other side to them, too.”
