EDMONTON— It was mid-June in Las Vegas at the National Hockey League awards banquet, a source said earlier this season, that the Edmonton Oilers were first told malcontent Ottawa Senators forward Dany Heatley would be happy to play for them.

The revelation was apparently delivered not by Chaka Khan, Celine Dion, Penn, Teller, Elvis or one of the guys who hands out strip joint flyers on the street, but by people seen as credible because they were Heatley confidantes.

So what went wrong? 

Perhaps the good news was delivered on a crowded, noisy casino floor. Or whispered outdoors and lost in waves of desert heat. More likely, Oiler officials were so jubilant upon hearing their good fortune that unabashed rejoicing and lottery-winner dancing drowned out the second half of the sentence, which went something like this:

“. . . as long as it comes down to a choice between the Oilers and a new career in waste management, or proctology.”

The rest, as they say, is hysteria.

The Oilers sent three players to Ottawa, or so they thought, then two management types and six videos to Kelowna, B.C., decisions that could have used more thought, in pursuit of their prize.

Eventually, the San Jose Sharks got Heatley, the Senators received Milan Michalek and Jonathan Cheechoo, and the Oilers had another taste of rejection from a star player who held all the cards and played them with the scripted, calculating selfishness we have come to expect from his ilk.

That’s apparently how it goes in a professional menage a trois; somebody gets the short end of the hockey stick, as it were.

The NHL season is now two months old and the Sharks, Senators and Oilers have moved on; to first, sixth and 12th place in their conferences, respectively. Sharks fans are lapping up the high life, Senators fans are enjoying a lengthy look at the spoils of team-first Cory Clouston hockey, and Oilers fans are staring at another unsatisfying plate of deja vu.

The Oilers have a new coaching staff on which to pin their hopes, but beyond the bench bosses, the Oilers are what they were and may well be without major change to the core of the roster — an also-ran.

They fooled some people with a 6-2-1 start. With Dustin Penner at the wheel, they were easy to watch and hard to beat.

Then, little by little, the veterans fell asleep at the switch or victim to injury and illness. The young players ran colder than a set of stone hands. A group work ethic and attitude that cried out for its early season renaissance reverted to last year’s form and the record is slightly worse. They were 12-11-2 for 26 points last year after 25 games, 10-12-3 now for 23.

This 4-10-2 stretch isn’t a funk, head coach Pat Quinn assures his inquisitors. It is what they are right now. (With appropriate consideration given for the stunning parade to the medical room.)

If the Oilers’ perpetual stumbling could be traced directly back to the feet-stomping, breath-holding, midsummer petulance that killed the trade between Edmonton and Ottawa, it would make for a tidy little story, what with the man of the hour in Rexall Place to take his lumps or have his way with Jeff Deslauriers Friday night.

But the facts don’t support that theory. Penner has been their best player and Ladislav Smid a fine contributor on defence. Sure, Andrew Cogliano has struggled to find a niche in Quinn’s lineup but, with 18 goals, Heatley has just two more than Penner and Cogliano combined.

Yes, it’s asinine to think of it as a trade the Oilers are glad they didn’t make, akin to the swap that would have sent Brad Winchester to the St. Louis Blues for Dean McAmmond at the 2006 trade deadline. It never got done in time — they were using Phil Esposito’s old fax machine — and Winchester would hang around to score a playoff game-winner for the Oilers in Detroit that spring.

It’s plenty different because Heatley is a 50-goal man and they don’t fall off trees. Some of them do, however, walk out on their old teams and provoke a trade.

Whatever the genesis, deals are usually judged over a measure of time and this non-trade will benefit from the same gestation period. But Oilers fans need not wait a moment longer to give Heatley the welcome he deserves. Let’s hope the signs are creative, because the hockey world will be watching closely.

While “Heatley Sucks” might sum up your feelings, a quest to get under his skin, or at least on television, would benefit from a peek inside the pages of a thesaurus or dictionary.

As for the game itself? It may appear to open an old wound or close an old chapter but it’s just one of 82 and will settle nothing in concrete terms.

Should you nonetheless require a happy ending, and the undermanned Oilers fail to provide one, comfort yourself with knowledge that Original Joe’s — a restaurant chain — is making a charitable donation every time Smid, Cogliano and Penner score a goal this year. In fact, because Smid’s drought has reached epic proportions, Original Joe’s is going to start with $500 for his first one and $100 for every other goal scored by the Heatley three. It’s an effort called “Beat the Heat” and Original Joe’s ought to be commended for helping out Give Me Shelter, which services five Edmonton-area women’s shelters.

Smid said he is aware of the charitable efforts and is pleased to play his part, if only he could.

“The pressure is on,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m trying to score every game. I don’t think it looks like that, but I try. It’s just hard. I try not to think about it, but it’s getting in my mind a bit.”

The Oilers have made a point of not thinking about Heatley this year, at least not out loud. Friday night he will be on their minds a bit. If he stays off the scoresheet and the Oilers win, management just might break out that lottery dance again.

(Edmonton Journal)