The thing that is lost in all of the kerfuffle south of our Canadian border about gun rights/gun control/gun whatever/ is of course, the kids, the little ones, the children.
We can, as Canadians, as we often do, feel smugly superior to the USA on this issue, and many others. (We have universal medicare, they still don't completely quite yet. We are nice tourists. They are belligerent lousy tourists. We are somewhat thin. And they are somewhat not. )
Much of this is of course just somewhat self-satisfying uninformed opinion, a way for all of us Canadians to feel fantastic by thinking of Yankees as silly and somewhat crude, etc, etc, etc.
So probably it would be simply more fair to honestly focus in on this gun debate and see what merit there is in the significant percentage of Americans who support the National Rifle Association, or as it is popularly known, the NRA.
Maybe if we understand, sincerely, what the NRA cares about, we Canadians will stop being such snobs about our neighbours. Maybe we should seek the facts, rather than just bromides that make us feel fancy about ourselves.
A good place to start could be what the NRA has to say about the most exalted of all human beings, the sub-adults, otherwise known as toddlers, teens and whatnot.. Thankfully, the NRA has a portion of their website devoted to the less-large, and it is called NRA for kids.
As snotty Canadians, we should pay attention to this part of the NRA website, for it proves how American NRA enthusiasts love kids. And if we look down our noses at this love, then shame on us.
The evidence: The NRA likes to raise money in various different ways, including the offering on their website of this fine product for children, the Camouflage Marshmallow Shooter.
The description from the NRA website, “NRA kids love guns and all kids love marshmallows. Give them the best of both worlds with our Camouflage Marshmallow Shooter. This pump action plastic shooter sends mini marshmallows up to 30 feet. The easy-to-fill magazine tube holds up to 25 marshmallows for rapid fire action. Imported.”
See? If ever you thought we Canadians, and other NRA opponents, might be jerks for opposing their goals, this is proof that we are all off-target. For they clearly love children, and want them to experience the joy of firearms very early on. Actually, very, very early on. Read on.
For the NRA also demonstrates on their website that infants can also be firearm enthusiasts be wearing a tiny bib (for babies only a few months old) that has the letters NRA emblazoned in building blocks graphics.
The description from the NRA website: “This terry cloth baby bib proudly displays the building blocks of Second Amendment protection, "NRA". This bib features an adjustable snap collar and is available with blue or pink trim. Please specify trim color when ordering.”
And if any doubt remains that the NRA's mission is to love, and even save children from harm, consider their affirmation of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania’s tiny tots. For the NRA has discovered what makes them happy: The NRA Foam Rocket Gun.
The description, “ A smash hit with the kids in Pittsburgh, our Foam Rocket Gun is now available through the NRAstore.com. Squeeze the handle of this foam gun to launch an arrow straight and fast. Comes with 2 arrows and features the NRA block letters printed in blue.”
Case closed. The NRA has clearly proven that their mission is all about the love of children. And for us, the pompous uninformed Canadians, we should be simply ashamed. Because if we really cared about the safety of our children, we would be arming them all marshmallow machine guns. Tasty. And shame on us.
Campbell Webster is a writer and producer of entertainment events. He can be reached at campbell@campbellwebster.ca
