Justin Trudeau is about to publish a biography of his 42 year young life. Noted his publisher, “His story is like no other!”
Justin is not the first to trod this ground, or Common Ground, as he calls it, but nonetheless it does seem like a bit of premature celebration, especially if you are among the organized and stack your books by genre. Imagine this bookshelf of biographies: Mahatma Gandhi -The Story of My Experiences with Truth; Nelson Mandela The Long Walk to Freedom; Churchill Defiant, and Justin Trudeau Common Ground.
Quite a shelf, Eh? It just seems, well, too easy. And ripe for reviewers firing off assessments such as, “Trudeau's tome, which took two years, or about five per cent of his mortality to date to write and publish, is a real page turner (one)”, or “I couldn't put in down. it just floated away”, or “I read it in single sitting, and then I flushed.”
But for the truly excited about the arrival of Justin Trudeau's Common Ground, the slated release being a few months from now might just too much time to bear. Thankfully, it appears a version of the book, indeed a whole series, has already been written. And it is called Sweet Valley High (SVH, to its devotees.)
To be sure, Sweet Valley High, is actually written in thinly disguised code, so that Justin is only mentioned under the pseudonym, Justin Belson. But it is the central story of SVH which is obviously that of Trudeau, with a critic describing the teen series as essentially about one thing, a teen protagonist who is “...unrealistically beautiful, and physically perfect, without suffering from greasy hair, body odor, weight issues, and other teenage problems.” Ha! Get it? Trudeau is the perfect one and the fat, greasy ones are Harper and Mulcair.
Indeed the evidence abounds that Sweet Valley High is simply the Trudeau biography dressed up like a Colonel Grey Prom. To wit, one of Sweet Valley High's lead teeny-bopper characters' says this, “I felt a little silly for getting so excited but now that you’ve pointed out that Fate is clearly anti-Jess, I feel better.” Now simply replace the word “Jess” with Harper, and bingo!, you have the Trudeau story encapsulated.
Or this excerpt about another Sweet Valley High 16-year-old protagonist who, “...thinks about how lucky she is that her life is perfectly perfect. After all, she has all-American good looks, a perfect size six bum without ever having to go to the gym, an awesome boyfriend, and she’s so humble, too. “
As you can see, once again this is a not so carefully disguised Justin biography. Simply replace the words she, her, American and boyfriend with the words he, him, Canadian and wife and you have found Common Ground with Sweet Valley Justin.
So thanks to Sweet Valley High, we have once again learned that everything old is in some ways young again. And the in the case of the common ground found at recess time in Sweet Valley High, we have found that maturity and experience are always beckoning, and may be just around the corner of a biography.
- Campbell Webster is a writer and producer of entertainment events. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org