• Print
  • Send to a friend
  • Comment (29)
  •  

Hate message sparks 'brave and courageous' response

Dana Kenny, who took to Facebook to express his feeling after the word Guardian photo

Dana Kenny, who took to Facebook to express his feeling after the word "Faggot" is written on his truck, has been described as brave and courageous by his friends. He has received responses from all over the world.

Published on March 4, 2013
Published on March 3, 2013
Jim Day  RSS Feed

Dana Kenny takes to Facebook to express his feeling after the word "Faggot" is written on his truck

Topics :
Australia , China

Dana Kenny's initial reaction to seeing a homophobic slur written on his truck on campus at UPEI seems natural enough.  

The 20-year-old university student was at first angry when he encountered on Jan. 30 the word 'Faggot'. His anger, fortunately, did not carry the day.

He did not fly off the handle at the vulgar reference to him being gay. Instead, he took time to compose and reflect.

A couple days later, he sat down to post a general Facebook status inviting the author of the nasty one-word insult to have a conversation about it.

He told The Guardian Friday "that forgiveness came as I was typing.''

What he posted on Facebook was a compelling plea for respect, understanding and compassion.

"I hope that whoever left his intentional message of hate for me is reading this,'' Kenny wrote in his posting.

"I want you to know that I forgive you. Of course I was angry and upset at first, but perpetuating that anger would only lead to hate for you in my own heart - and that is not the solution to this problem. The solution is dialogue and an open mind.''

The guilty party has yet to come forward. He or she may never own up to the homophobic slur.

Kenny, though, has no regrets over his posting. His thoughtful comments struck a strong and positive chord with many.

Praise poured in via social media from across the country and even from as far away as Australia and China.

Commonly, a total stranger would remark that he or she may not know Kenny, but they feel what he did was very brave and courageous.

"It's been truly amazing to witness this community come together to shield one of their own,'' he said.

"The support I've received has been unbelievable.''

"I want you to know that I forgive you. Of course I was angry and upset at first, but perpetuating that anger would only lead to hate for you in my own heart - and that is not the solution to this problem. The solution is dialogue and an open mind,'' - Dana Kenny

Keith Lawlor says his friend deserves to be lauded for providing such a forward outlook and positive response to an ugly incident.

"He's an outstanding young man, level headed, smart, down-to-earth and charming, and someone that anyone would be proud to know,'' said Lawlor.

"He's genuinely and truly a leader among his peers and he will certainly do big things with his life.''

Kenny went public about being gay last April, just after his 20th birthday.

He didn't know how his parents would react even though they had always been supportive in all aspects of his life up to that point. He has been raised a Catholic and his brother is studying to become a priest.

His family responded by simply continuing in their supportive way.

"They just held me and hugged me and they were fine,'' said Kenny. Friends too have been "amazingly supportive.''

Kenny adds he is not angling to be a "poster boy'' for gay causes.

"It's bigger than me,'' he said.

Still, his eloquently written post offers thoughtful insight.

"Unfortunately, it's not so easy for everyone who is born with this unwanted "Kick Me Sign'' on their back,'' he posted on Facebook.

"Some people are bullied, and bullied and bullied, to the point where they feel as though they have died on the inside. Terribly this death on their inside has led some people to reflect it on their outside.''

     

jday@theguardian.pe.ca

Twitter.com/PEIGuardian

 

 

Comments

  • Username
    Michael
    - April 7, 2013 at 11:49:01

    Dana, I am reading about this in Vancouver and am vacillating between the deep sadness I feel knowing you have to defend against ignorant bullying souls like this and immense pride in the way you have chosen to deal with this. This gives the world insight into the gentle and thoughtful person you are. While unintentional on your part i expect this will be the catalyst for great things to come in your life. Your actions remind me of Ghandi's attributed quote," Be the change you want to see in the world" your cousin, Miichael

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Grant MacDonald
    - March 11, 2013 at 17:55:18

    Being black, left-handed or being gay is just as natural. It is a sometimes rare occurrence to fall in Love and to hold that person in your heart and be loved in return ... it is something that should be celebrated! If it’s between two guys or two girls -- all the better. It takes even more courage to defend that LOVE! www.HolyFaux.com

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    pauline todd
    - March 5, 2013 at 14:57:17

    I,m very proud of this young man, his parents sure raised him right , but saddened to know that ignorance still exists on what is supposed to be a place of higher learning hopefully the actions of Dana will inspire others. God Bless.

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Shaine
    - March 5, 2013 at 10:42:41

    This shocks me that stuff like this still goes on in this day and age! Good for you for standing up for yourself and for showing that bully that they can't bring you down.

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Grow Up
    - March 4, 2013 at 22:20:41

    I'm not saying that this was a fellow UPEI student, but if it was, what a shame that there are immature fools like this on the UPEI campus. As a former student, I remember my university years being a time when losers who bullied in high school were no longer hot to trot. To the person who wrote the slur, grow up and get with the real world before someone takes you out behind the cottages and knocks some sense into you. That act was childish and props to the young man who was victim on being the bigger person. We've become too accepting of idiotic displays such as this and the seal killing. It's time to stop excusing stupidity and make people realize that some things are wrong and won't be tolerated.

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Mireille Poirier
    - March 4, 2013 at 21:23:26

    It's stories like these that make me have faith in humanity. Forgiveness is the first step to unconditional love. Dana, you are an inspiration to many.

    Submit a comment

  • Bill Kays
    Bill Kays
    - March 4, 2013 at 18:12:00

    Come on folks, let let the kids grow up before we attack them. But, while it may be best to take the high road in this case, for the love of God, stop labeling everything as a hate crime. These 20 year olds are still just kids at heart and as such are still growing up. It is only natural for children to make errors in judghement, whether writing slurs on walls or vehicles or performing homosexual behaviour.This story is enough to make a good hearted tolerent Christian person shudder and ask God for direction. While Christians love you as a fellow suffering human being, one of God's creatures, the Bible (the inspired word of God) does not consent to homosexual behaviours. Just because homosexuality is tolerated do not mistake that tolerance as acceptance. Just because the whole world has been deceived does not mean that there is no hope for it. While I pray that your life goes on without further instances of these types of behaviours, I am also praying for myself to have more tolerence, compassion and love for my fellow neighbors.

    Submit a comment

    • Username
      CrazyTalk
      - March 4, 2013 at 22:12:59

      @Bill Kays - Ya know Buddy - No one wants to hear your crap on this. You are upset that people are accepting of this kid who forgave the hatred of a bully rather than the behavior of the bully. Too bad for you. Keep on thinking that you are righteous in your holier than thou beliefs, but I think that one day you will learn that you are mistaken. Saying hateful things to people who have done nothing to you is never a stupid kid mistake - it is just hateful.

    • Username
      Really?
      - March 4, 2013 at 22:18:20

      A 20 year old is an adult and there is no excuse for such hateful behaviour. You can believe what you want, but don't chalk this up to 'kids will be kids'. They're adults.

    • Username
      disgusted
      - March 5, 2013 at 00:36:20

      Bill Kays, I am a good hearted tolerant christian and you make me shudder! Unbelievable that you would post such crazy talk. For one, god loves all, and two, kids or not it is still wrong!!! It cannot go unpunished! Whoever did this must be shown that it is inhumane to treat people like that. We love who we love same sex or opposite, we all deserve to be respected for who we are and the way god made us. So give your head a shake and hop aboard the time capsule to join us in the 20th century!

    • Username
      Sandra MacDonald
      - March 5, 2013 at 08:28:22

      I am also a Christian but I believe the overlying message is learn is love and non-judgement. If you read the old testament there are laws about a gazillion things you shouldn't do. Those were different times. People lived in a very different world. As we get into the new testament people have grown somewhat in their outlooks. Jesus basically says to get rid of those old ideas and love and care for people. Surely, 2000 years later we should still be growing and learning instead of trying to cherry pick passages for more than 4000 years ago to make people feel like they were created incorrectly. Get over it and love unconditionally!

    • Username
      Xian
      - March 5, 2013 at 13:29:33

      Bill: You seem to have more compassion for the bully than the person who was bullied in this scenario. I'm sure you're experiencing some cognitive dissonance from reading a story in which Christ-like behaviour (turning the other cheek, loving your enemy) is displayed by a homosexual. If you are truly interested in having more tolerance, compassion, and love for your fellow neighbors, then it would seem to me like Dana has has provided a great example for you to follow. Seems like he handled the situation in a consummately Christ-like manner. As a Christian, can you not just rejoice in that, instead of getting hung up on his sexual orientation.

    • Username
      Captain Canuck
      - March 5, 2013 at 13:40:23

      Y'know BILL KAYS, it doesn't matter if gay is right or wrong. This isn't about that. What you've done is called trolling and it is more unacceptable in cyberspace than taking The Lord's name in vain "in real life". Dood, chill woodja?

  • Username
    Bailey
    - March 4, 2013 at 16:38:57

    I've known you were an amazing person from the day met in elementary school and that hasn't changed. I am honored to call you a friend and I am so proud of what you have done and continue to do for people.

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    PEI EYED
    - March 4, 2013 at 16:17:43

    The person that did this act of bullying can only be in mental anguish by remaining silent...high five to you Dana, for taking the time to reflect on this situation and find forgiveness in your heart! Your value for ALL MANKIND is above and beyond. High five also to your parents for their part in raising such an amazing young man!

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    R. Redmond
    - March 4, 2013 at 16:03:48

    It is always best to " Take the high road " in situations like this. Good for you !

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    AWESOME
    - March 4, 2013 at 14:01:46

    Dana - you handled it beautifully. Mature, open, and approachable. If the person who wrote it saw your Facebook status, and this article, I know they're regretting their choice. The simplicity and effect of your action made their behavior irrelevant and weak. Someone like you, whether you agree or not, are a great example for making the most of life, being kind and respectful of others, handling challenges with grace, and above all, being yourself and having fun along the way! Who you're attracted to isn't even the core of this, though it does lend itself well to encouraging and inspiring those who face bullying or isolation for whatever reason. Solid solid job man.

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    dar
    - March 4, 2013 at 13:37:33

    What a strong person you are ! As a mom of a teen who's been bullied for years and whose son currently endures being called ' faggot' on a daily basis at school; I applaud you! My son is not gay but that doesn't make the act less hurtful. The ignorance and immaturity of these individuals is pathetic and discouraging. Wishing great things for your future!

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Fellow UPEI Student
    - March 4, 2013 at 11:50:12

    I am so proud of you Dana for the way you handled this. It is not fair to be treated differently or bullied for your sexuality.

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Captain Canuck
    - March 4, 2013 at 10:24:11

    I'm proud of you to Dana (pun unintentional, really). You are making the world a little bit better place and that is more than many can say. Love, kindness and respect are the greatest weapons in the war against hate.

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    SO PROUD
    - March 4, 2013 at 10:19:25

    Your courage is phenomenal to all of us reading this. I am also a student at UPEI and have seen similar things written on vehicles, especially downtown outside of bars and such. The lack of respect that people have for other human beings is just pathetic. Keep hanging on strong and standing up for who you are, because who you are is a wonderful person!

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Gemma
    - March 4, 2013 at 10:18:16

    Dana, "A Soon To be Islander" said it all for me. Your an awesome young man!

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Heather Lea
    - March 4, 2013 at 10:09:35

    Wow! Good for you Dana. I always knew you were a wonderful guy and this kind of strength is great to see!

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Callen
    - March 4, 2013 at 09:39:24

    This is amazing! Good for you, Dana!! :)

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Marie
    - March 4, 2013 at 08:59:06

    A gentleman's response to an ignorant comment. Teach them one at a time!!!

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Maggie
    - March 4, 2013 at 08:11:20

    Hey Dana - you are as beautiful now as you were when you were a baby...... it's just in you, who you are - hold that knowledge tight. We are all made in His image - and we are all beautiful...... betcha it's a female, ticked off she won't get her hands on you - Go Dana.

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    That Guy From PEI
    - March 4, 2013 at 07:04:55

    Good for you Dana!!!

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    A Soon To Be Islander ...
    - March 4, 2013 at 06:17:17

    You are an amazing young man, and I am certain that your parents are very, very proud of you. With youth such as yourself, maybe someday in the not too distant future, we all may see the negativity and the predjudice truly start to go away ... I think you are on your way to a wonderful future ... Good luck to you !

    Submit a comment

  • Username
    Deb Williams
    - March 4, 2013 at 04:26:03

    You sound like a fine young man, Dana, in contrast to the great many anonymous, ignorant cowards who leave those kinds of messages.

    Submit a comment

Submit a comment

Submit a comment (we keep all emails private)
Agreement

We ask that users remain courteous. You may not post insulting, discriminatory or inappropriate content, which may be removed at our discretion. We are not responsible for user content and opinions. Use of this site as well as content submission & ownership are governed by our Conditions of Use and Privacy Policy.

Member organizations should be non-profit in nature, and promote legal activities. Any organization found promoting illegal activities or commercial products or services will be deleted from the site.

I agree with these conditions.

Advertising

Newsletter

Please enter your email to receive our free newsletter

Subscribe to news alerts
loading...

Expert bloggers

Ride for Heart
Blogger
Heart and Stroke Foundation
Putting those unused gears into action
[Sponsored]

More bloggers here

The Guardian Twitter

Advertising